Full plate

Kate thinks I helped her out today, but I actually welcomed the distraction for the kids. Today my friend Kate got to move into her built-with-their-own-hands house. I got Sam and Zoe. It's perfect, Sam and Brady are both 6, and Zoe and Natalie are both 3. It's easy. It lets me pick up some schtuff and do some laundry in between snacks.
I have hosted for the past couple of years "New Years at Noon" for the MOMS Club. So that means that my house that is knee deep in crapola from being held hostage by the snow for 2 weeks needs to be picked up (I had to sacrifice the kids rooms, and mine) and make snacks (no food in the house), and come up with a craft (I got a couple in mind).
So after the Rankin kids left, we went to Costco (I bought a whole pizza for my kids so I don't have to cook for them for the next couple of days. Nice parenting, huh?) got supplies for a craft as well as the basics (milk, gogurt, cheerios, raspberries & blueberries...). Oh, and I got my tires rotated. I also had to pick up some oats to make my boss, Spencer, Oatmeal Raisin cookies for tomorrow. He's a New Years Eve birthday baby. I always thought that it would suck to have that birthday. Everyone has plans. And you can't get reservations anywhere. So anyway, those are his favorite cookies so I'm making some and freezing some cookie dough too (since he's a bachelor) so he can make a few at a time. And they have to be done tonight since I have to drag my kids to work at 8am for an office meeting. Let's hope my children take a nap tomorrow. Cuz mommy's gonna need one herself!

Height Predictions

I measure the kids every Christmas to log in these little keepsake ornaments. Last year Brady was 45 inches tall, this year he's 48 (an even 4 feet. He's only got 11 more to go to catch you mom!).
Natalie was 37 1/2 inches tall last year, this year she is 42 1/4, just over 3 1/2 feet. By the way, 42" is the minimum height I would suggest taking your children to Disneyland.
I went to a webmd site and predicted their adult heights. I'm including this in the blog for future comparison.
Brady should reach 6'2".
Natalie should reach 5'7".
The shrimpy gene has been eradicated! Now, if only the chubby gene...

The Dentist And the Damage Done.

This morning the kids had their check-ups at the dentist. Dr. Swanson is a very kind man with a gentle staff as well. Brady did great, nervously sitting in the exam chair and dutifully allowing the counting, scraping, x-rays, and fluoride. He got to wear sunglasses and headphones while watching The Bee Movie. He did great with little to report.

Natalie? Oh, you mean you didn't hear her screaming from your house? Oh. She had 3 of us holding her while Dr. Swanson counted her teeth and at one point broke free from our grip (we were all a little surprised of the strength of a 3 year old.) She gnashed her teeth and hissed, bit the mirror, scratched at my chest and bucked wildly in the air. She screamed in a blood-curdling scream (if you haven't experienced a girly fit, you have no idea what I mean) and tried all kinds of tactics to get us to stop: "I need to tell my mom something!" "I need to go outside!" "I don't want to be here!" and our favorite, that brought tears to my eyes "I don't like you Dentist!" Once the torture was finished, she snatched the cup of water from the tech with daggers in her eyes. She gulped the water and crumpled the cup and sulked.

Seriously?! (hi Sara!)

I make it a point to talk to the children about the dentist frequently and always tell them several days or a week in advance that they have an appointment. I explain exactly what they can expect to happen, and that they earn a prize at the end of their checkup. I think I do a pretty good job as a parent in this department about educating and taking the unknown out of going to see the dentist. Apparently Natalie thinks I'm full of shit.

While I was helping to restrain my daughter I began to doubt what we were doing exactly. She is pitching the fit of her life and what kind of permanent fears are we instilling in her? But then, she is being totally ridiculous in her behavior as the dentist is simply touching her teeth. So I can hardly condone her behavior since the consequence isn't painful, just invasive. And just like we (well most of us) immunize our children for their health, we will continue to see the dentist every 6 months and we will continue to hold her down while she squeals like a stuck pig.

Natalie last night after the movie (Bedtime Stories).

Gag a maggot

That was a favorite saying of my dad's. What Larry and I had to deal with today made me say "gag a maggot". I had started cleaning our downstairs bathroom and doing loads of laundry (after having the dogs living inside for 2 weeks, it was a little stinky and hairy). Larry hollered at me to bring towels.
That led to an hour long plumbing fiasco, pulling apart our entire sink and dishwasher and, well it was gross. And not how I wanted to spend a Sunday morning. But it also led me to think about some phrases that I heard often growing up:
-Gag a Maggot
-Tough titty said the kitty when the milk went dry
-It's colder than a well-diggers toe.
-You wanna knuckle sandwich?
-I'll give you something to cry about.
I'm sure there are many others, but their either too "colorful" (like what my dad always said when he hit his head, which he did often earning himself the nickname 'Billy Bumphead') or I've blocked them from my childhood memories.
Another random thought is something that my Grandma Alice and I did all the time, and I secretly have done it my entire life, and am now teaching my children to do it. Every time I pass through either a broken fence (posts without chains for example) or pass by something that separates whomever I'm with (a lamppost perhaps) I have to say "Bread and Butter" to nix out the jinx. Just like bread and butter go together, I have to say it to "put together" whatever was separated. Does that make sense? I don't really believe in the jinx, but it's a fond memory I have of my Grandma Alice.
How 'bout you, any funny family sayings/quirks?

Waking up in a panic.

Don't you hate that feeling that something is wrong and wakes you up and there is no way you are going back to sleep with it unresolved? That was me early this morning.
The kids and I were pretty punchy with each other yesterday, we've been in the house for almost 2 weeks solid, with only a quick errand as a break from the confines of our house.

Daisy has been subjected to all sorts of torture in the name of entertainment this week. She has been seen riding in a baby stroller, wearing a super hero cape, being hauled around inside of a towel, and many other humiliating scenarios.
I awoke early this morning realizing that I hadn't seen Daisy since yesterday afternoon. I immediately thought that she ran outside and was frozen to the sidewalk, but thought that she wouldn't have made a noise when Larry got home from work last night. I opened the garage but she didn't come running in like she normally does. I snuck downstairs and opened each of the kids closets thinking that they may have locked her in there. Nope. She wasn't anywhere. I even looked around for crates or boxes that my children may have locked her into (thank goodness she wasn't, I hated thinking that my kids could do that). I opened the garage door once again, and this time she darted inside! Phew! She just hid out to catch some reprieve from her captives.
Today we're having a big melt, our cul-de-sac looks like hell, but dammit we're getting out of here! We tried yesterday, but with all the ice on our driveway, we couldn't even back the van out. We all cried a little when we were unsuccessful in out departure. Today we shall be successful! Flash (Erin's cat) will be snuggled (he/she is a new cat therefore exempt from torture) today! The kids will get some sort of physical activity that doesn't include snow-play! They will probably eat something greasy and deep-fried! Today is our day! We're on our way! (Suess, anyone?)

Walkin' round in women's underwear...

A great thing about Christmas is that I get to whip out all of my Christmas music. A perennial favorite it Bob River's Twisted Christmas. Nothing like I AM SANTA CLAUS sung to Black Sabbath's I AM IRON MAN. But my favorite of these is the one where I can't even sing the original lyrics anymore to the regular song, and my mother-in-law sent me a beautiful snow globe that also plays this particular song. Sing my blog title to the tune of "Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland". Hey wait, here's the lyrics:
Lacy things, the wife is missin'
Didn't ask, her permission
I'm wearin' her clothes
Her silk pantyhose
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear

In the store, there's a teddy
Little straps, like spaghetti
It holds me so tight
Like handcuffs at night
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear

In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown
He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say, "Whoa Man!"
"Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"

Later on, if you wanna
We can dress, like Madonna
Put on some eyeshade
And join the parade
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear

Lacy things- missin'
Didn't ask- permission
Wearin' her clothes
Silk pantyhose
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Bustin' a move

Larry and I are both pooped, but our night isn't over yet! Stuffing and wrapping and charging and nibbling (cookies and carrots) still to do.
I had the foresight to make some reindeer poop (chocolate covered raisins) to leave as "evidence" outside. My kids love poop.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas! xoxo, H