I just don't get it sometimes...

This constant pushing of my buttons. He knows I'm going to punish him, yet he continually pushes that line.
Tonight just before bed time, Brady and I were finishing his 'star of the week' poster. He lost interest, and soon appears with a tunnel (spring loaded fabric thing). I hate this toy. I tell him, No he cannot take the straps off it, we are going to get ready for bed in just a minute and I don't want the toy taken out. He says "NO, just for a minute." Um, excuse me? I just said no. So I warn him that bedtime will be immediate if he continues. He proceeds anyway. So I tell him to get downstairs. Again "NO." And he digs his heels in. So I physically haul his little butt downstairs and put him in his room while he screams and yells at me, all the while Larry and his poker buddies are watching and telling me that they're glad I'm not their mom. (That made me feel real good)

Flash forward to a forced apology and now I'm in his room reading a book for him. I ask him what is his favorite food (from The Hungry Caterpillar) and he ignores me. So I flip the page and move on, ignoring him ignoring me. NOW he wants to show me his favorite food. Too late. I continue reading, so he turns the light out on me. So I said "Goodnight Brady, I love you." Gave him a kiss on the top of his head and a squirmish hug, and walked out. That sent him into a whole new rage. And that's how he went to bed tonight.

When will he "get it"? I'm not a marshmallow mom, so I don't understand why he thinks this behavior will work out for him. And my tolerance for it gets less and less each time he tries it. So I get grumpier and grumpier. The pediatrician says we need to go to counseling together. Because it's clearly between the two of us. Even my mom noticed the drastic behavior change from when she has him alone for an afternoon to when he's with me. And this is the norm for us, not the 'good days speckled with days like this'. The opposite. Days like this speckled with great days. What am I not doing? What am I not "getting"? I feel like a fool for not knowing how to react to my son. But I'm so sick of it. I'm sick of him behaving this way, and I'm sick of being "that mom".

And my stomach still hurts, which doesn't help my patience level. I'd be enjoying a beer right now if I could tolerate it. I'll just have to double up when I'm feeling better ;)