Chocolate

When I was a kid, my mom would always put this rag on Chocolate's head after a procedure. She did it this weekend for Natalie too.

I got Chocolate when I was 2. I didn't love him/her (it switches all the time) until the murder of my beloved baby doll by my neighbor Joey's Doberman Pincher (I was the one who discovered her body. I'm still haunted by it). So Chocolate became my new companion. I've only seen one other bear that looked like Chocolate in the whole world, and I thought it was the ugliest bear I'd ever seen. That's because Chocolate is real, and this other bear was not. Now, I hope whoever reads this blog has the sense to know when a stuffed animal becomes real. If you don't know what I'm talking about, have I got a book for you. Have you ever read The Velveteen Rabbit? I know exactly what the old skin horse is talking about, be Chocolate is real.

Fast Forward 31 years, and my daughter discovered Chocolate. I didn't know how to take this sudden interest that Natalie showed in MY bear. I really had no intention of giving up MY bear to somebody else, I don't care if she is my own daughter, that bear is MINE.

I've tried distracting her away from Chocolate, for fear that harm or loss my happen to him/her. But the power of real proved to be too powerful. Chocolate and Natalie are in love. I have a mix of pain/separation along with nostalgia/love for the relationship Natalie is forming with Chocolate. I still don't know how I feel about sharing.

Chocolate being put to bed with a kiss from Natalie.

Chocolate has had to have many surgeries in his/her lifetime. Stuffing would get hard, a seam would pop, his/her tear ducts would plug (at one point Chocolate had a bottle and if you gave it this bottle of water, it would cry and sweat. It has long quit working). My mom would lovingly operate on Chocolate and return him/her to me refreshed and ready for more love.

Some special snuggles after they were reunited.

Natalie has been loving on Chocolate a lot too. So instead of going camping with us this weekend, Chocolate spent the weekend at Grandmas house having a little work done. But the fabric on Chocolate's neck, where the surgery took place was so worn down, that Chocolate needed a patch. A yellow butterfly patch. And this new part of her/him has helped me send Chocolate on her/his new journey. I hope Chocolate gives Natalie as much joy, comfort, and unconditional love that he/she has and continues to give me.

When we got home from camping, this is how we found Chocolate.

Thanks, mom.